Chris | Tgwp

Man is a curious animal, capable of great highs and extraordinary lows. While one man learns to split the atom, another devotes his life to crudely replicating genitalia using duct tape and lunch meats of various thickness and textures. Genius comes in many packages. Mine took the form of a balding fat guy with glasses.

My mother always said I was like the son she never had. Even as a child, I was an outcast, lacking basic social skills and even a hint of athletic ability. I quickly sank to the bottom of the food chain, a constant Omega in a pack of Alpha dogs, the invisible man. But, like Radon, invisibility couldn't stop me from reaping havoc upon the world around me. If anything, it only encouraged me to lash out, to fling my mental dung in every direction so that this voice might someday be heard! My words are those turds, and I excrete them with an urgency rarely felt outside a Taco Bell toilet stall. Like Glen Close with a pot full of boiling bunnies, I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!!!